by admin | Apr 7, 2019 | Pacific Crest Trail
PCT – 1 year later
One year ago today on April 8th, 2018 I set about to walk the 2650 miles of the Pacific Crest Trail. 18 days, 210 miles and 561731 steps later, I would be on my way into Palm Springs having ultimately failed due to injury in completing my journey. I’ve tried several times to write this final blog about my trip but it’s been a difficult thing for me to do.
I write this as I am spending 5 weeks exploring Southeast Asia. Traveling to this part of the world was my back up plan should for some reason I decided not to finish the trail. I didn’t follow through on that at the time but I’m here now and that’s what’s important.
Temple hoping in Angkor Wat a few days ago
I discovered the PCT one day while randomly searching the internet. I remember that night staying up way later than I should have reading all about it. I was intrigued and quickley became obsessed. I spent so many hour researching every aspect of the trail. Reading blogs, watching vlogs, maps, guides or any information I could feast myself upon. I told myself that I could find myself out in the wilderness alone for 6 months. I believed all my problems would magically disappear one forgotten step at a time. That I could forget the trauma, shed the depression and rebuild myself out of dust and tears into a better man. For a brief time it worked.
For the two months leading up to my start on the trail I was so completely stressed that I was giving myself stress induced anaphylactoid reactions. I was getting episodes of hives, short of breath and dizziness pretty much every night. I didn’t figure out the cause until I started my trek and all the symptoms simply stopped. Prior to that I had made several adjustments in my regular life in attempts to find the source of these reactions. It’s only looking back upon that time now that I see what a huge ball of stress I actually was.
Just some of the amazing views I saw while on the trail
The trail was everything I thought it would be and so many things I never could have envisioned. There were days, hours or sometimes even minutes where i would run the entire gambit of human emotion. I laughed, I cried and felt the highest highs and the absolute lowest lows. Every day was a battle, every day that trail kicked my ass and everyday I both loved and hated it for it. It was the most alive I think I’ve ever felt.
11 days into the trail near Idyllwild at 7000 ft it was snowing with the strongest winds I’d experience so far. The snow was sticking sideways onto the trees in what I can only describe as what hell would look like if it indeed froze over. On this day, April 19th I fell, nearly blown off a cliff twisting my right ankle in the process. It hurt and swelled but at the time I was in denial as I wouldn’t fully appreciate what this moment meant for another few days. Fortunately I was able to get myself safely into town that night. Mother Nature laid insult to injury pelting me with hail for the last 30 mins of hobbling that day (it appears I failed to move this photos somewhere I could access on my phone)
Town is Idyllwild
After spending 3 days in Idyllwild resting I felt foolishly optimistic about my physical ability to proceed. Leaving Idyllwild the trail takes you up Mount San Jacinto to 10800 ft. As I walked the pain in my right ankle worsened… I took breaks, I took Tylenol, I took ibuprofen but the pain only continued to worsen. Slowly I began feeling pain in my knee and hip likely because of the way I was compensating for my injured ankle. Somewhere between 8000 & 9000 ft I realized my hike was done… I broke and I cried harder than I had ever cried before. It was like some torrential damn broke right there and then. In this moment I knew I had failed. I had spent the last two years preparing and I knew this could happen but in this moment realizing it was happening, that it has already happened was devastating. By the grace of whatever power exists, at that moment I had decent cell service. I called my girlfriend and I confessed that I would soon be coming home… and I cried some more.
I finished the day at the peak of Mt San Jacinto at 10800 ft. I was determined that i would at least make this summit. From here I could see Desert Palm Springs California and the airport that I would fly out of a few days later. I watch emerged in solitude as the sky turned into a multitude of reds and yellows as the sun set over the valley below. It would take me two full grueling and painful long days to reach Interstate 5 where I would be able to hopefully hitch a ride to my final destination. I listened to podcasts and enjoyed the scenery below as I descended the 10400 feet. My last two days were spent primarily alone with the exception of three US military vets who were hiking the trail together whom I occasionally leap frogged. My last night was spent alone wishing to be anywhere but here but not wanting to leave. On my last day I passed the 200 mile marker and it made me sad.
200 Mile Marker and the view looking back up at Mt San Jacinto from the desert valley.
The last few miles after descending Mt San Jacinto are in the desert valley outside Palm Springs. There was no shade and it was hot with the noon sun in full force. These were the most painful and difficult miles I have ever walked in my life. I would have stopped to rest but there was absolutely no where’s to find any refuge from the sun so I carried on. I wished for hot dogs… of all things in the world I wanted a hotdog. The mind is a strange place. My journey ended with my last steps on the PCT underneath a bridge with interstate 5 above. A well known trail angle “Mama Bear” was there greeting hikers with a big hug as they arrived. I collapsed into this complete strangers arms and cried once again. She offered ice cold drinks and of all things hot dogs to any hiker trash that passed by. Of all the meals I’ve had in my life, this meal I will remember forever.
I gave my brand new water filter and my air mattress to hikers that were having issues with theirs and got a ride into Palm Springs with my hero “Mama Bear”. She dropped me off at the airport where I rented a car, found a hotel room for few nights so I could organize my life and return home.
I came home promising myself that life would be different but I lied. I returned home and within a few weeks had dove straight into my workaholic nature. Every promise I made to myself I broke… every change I desired forgotten. It was tough returning home back to the life I’d ran away from. As the reality of it all set in I found solace in my misery, I was tired all the time, depressed and was either at work trying to hold it all together or hiding alone in my office falling apart. I fell into a very dark lonely painful place and I’ll always be grateful to my friends who helped me realize just how far I’d gone. There has been a lot of tough changes in my personal and professional life over the past year. Not all of them have I fully embraced. But I’m putting in the effort and trying to learn what I need to do to be happy for me. Trying to learn how to be be more honest with myself.
In the end I successfully attempted to do this absolute crazy thing. Something I’m still shocked that I actually followed through on. The trail was never going to fix me… I know that truth honestly now. I was and still am a broken person who is just trying to find his way. I’ve just got a better map these days.
Thank you to everyone who have supported me over the past year. Both during this crazy adventure of mine and the turmoil that proceeded it. Your friendship, guidance, support and love mean the world to me.
PCT re-attempt in 2020? We’ll see? For now I’m planning as many vacations as money and work will allow 🙂
– Ben, Another Day In Paradise
by Ben Ripley | Apr 29, 2018 | Pacific Crest Trail
PCT day 11 – Mile 151.8 – Idyllwild
Start – PCT mile 151.8
End – PCT mile 166.6
Non PCT miles: 3.5
Total miles: 18.3
Last night just before going to bed I saw a mouse scurry away from my tent. Paranoid of a repeat of my West Coast Trail adventure where a mouse ate a hole in my tent I packed everything that smelled like food into my Ursack and placed just outside my tent. I had strange dreams that I awoke from several times and I checked the bag every time but it appears it either was left alone or did it’s job in preventing rodents from getting into my food.
I tried to sleep in a little hoping it would be a bit warmer but I was unsuccessful and it didn’t get any warmer anyways. The plan today was to hike about 15ish miles along the PCT to just before the Mountain Fire Closure. This closure has been in effect since the fire in 2013. The PCT is open till mile 168 then a 13 mile detour that brings you into Idyllwild.
Today is also the first time the trail goes over 7000ft. The weather forecast was calling for a 10% chance of snow and a high of 7 degrees. A few miles into my hike I ran into someone traveling south bound who told me it was not pretty along the ridges. Oh how right he was. 5 miles into my hike it started to snow and shortly there after the winds whipped up into a frenzy. One minute I would be walking in relative calm and turn a corner and it was like old man winter slapped me in the face… repeatedly… with a baseball bat.
The landscape along the ridges was errie. The way the ice and snow was smattered onto the trees made me wonder if “winter had come” and had me checking the area for white walkers. The wind howling, the clouds racing over the mountain passes causing a deafining silence when you turned a corner. Many of the areas I passed were burned in the 2013 Mountain Fire and the way the ice had been frozen to the burnt out trees made me think this is what hell would look like if it froze over.
As I walked head down covered trying to shield myself from the world of pain Mother Nature was sending my way missed my turn for the water source I was planning fill up. Now short on water I quicken my pace so that I could make it to the next source. Traveling along a ridge the wind knocked me off my feet and not to far from being tossed down a cliff. I did a quick check… no major injury, camera is fine, I still have a backpack. All seemed well until I went to stand and felt some pain in my left ankle. So now there I was at about 7000ft of elevation short on water and somewhat injured. I scoured my maps and found the quickest most downhill route that would bring me to the road where I could then hitch to Idyllwild.
Just as I reached Forbes Ranch Trail I ran into two older lady’s hiking southbound. They have been doing section hikes and I had ran into them once before at Mikes place. They asked about the conditions up the mountain and I advised them they would be best to stay here. They told me they had left some water just outside of there car should i be in need.
About a mile down Forbes ranch trail and just over 2 miles left to go Nature decided to start dumping hail onto me. There I was limping down the mountain being hailed on. I made my way to the road defeated and got ready to hitch into town. Either I was really lucky or looked extra pathetic because the first car that passed by stoped to give me a ride. The amazing woman who I will ever be in debt to Dawn picked me up and drove my tired, broken and bruised self into town.
I’m staying at a new hostel that has opened up in Idyllwild. The hotels are expensive but I’ll likely get one for the next day or two so I can give my body a chance to recover. The owner Chris and partner “Detour” seems like a very good guys. I’ve got a warm mattress on a floor to sleep on and a hot shower so that’s all that matters to me.
I met Scott here who is a Navy Vet who has been struggling with PTSD for many years. He is hiking to raise money for Mission 22 and has been dedicating sections of his hike to different soldiers who have committed suicide. He carries photos of them with him at all times. Check out his website and his story at https://scottsmission22-pct-journey.com.
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by Ben Ripley | Apr 28, 2018 | Pacific Crest Trail
PCT Day 11 – Mile 131.5 to Paradise valley cafe
Start: Mile 131.5
End: 151.8
Distance: 20.3
Non PCT miles: 1.4
Steps: 52970
Was up and packed in record time for me. Somehow it normally takes me an hour from the time I decide I’m getting up until I’m ready to hit the trail. Today I managed to make that 45 mins. Small victories I guess. The goal for today was to hike just over 20 miles to the Paradise Valley Cafe locates 0.7 Miles off the PCT. Why do a 20 mile day in what promises to be a good amount of elevation gain and loss… because at the is the promise of the best burger on the PCT. Thats pretty good motivation when your a thru-hiker. Pretty much all you think of is Food, water, walking and sleeping.
I was making good time this morning with the cool air and managed to get 9 miles in before 9 am even with the elevation gain. I leaped frogged several hikers all whom had the same goal in mind. There was some fantastic views as we started the day where you could see past the desert mountains into the true sandy desert. The ecosystem here is not really the desert it’s called chaparral because of the annual amount of precipitation that falls on average.
There were two reliable water caches on path today. These trail angles are truely something. They really save lives of countless hikers by ensuring the availability of water. The second cash is run by Mary the Trail angle. She has shaded tables, a pit toilet, a library, wa shower and even the ability to laundry in her Muir Woods. I had the opportunity to meet her when she stopped by to drop of some iced cold lemon aid and ice cold distilled water. She sat down and chatted about the Trail, mountain lions, the dear population and is truely a weath of knowledge on the area. Her desert oasis is really an amazing place to take a break.
From there the trial climbs significantly and the views of upcoming mountains have started to revile themselves and have been much needed distraction rocks and sand.
I made it to Paradise Valley Cafe at 17:30 and the majority of the crew were there. The burger was as good as I believed it would be and I’ve honestly never had better service at any other restaurant in my life. They fill up water bottle and even allow hikers to camp out back which several people elected to do so they can have breakfast there tomorrow. I On the other hand walked the 0.7 miles back to the trail where I am set up alone. I knew if I stayed the night there I wouldn’t leave until 10 or 11 at the earliest.
The goal now is Idyllwild by Friday. Hopefully early enough for me to edit photos and get my blog updated. Then bounce my computer ahead. If I don’t manage that all on Friday I’ll be stuck i town until the post office opens again on Monday. Which wouldn’t be the end of the world and I’m sure my body would greatly appreciate it.
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by Ben Ripley | Apr 27, 2018 | Pacific Crest Trail
PCT day 10 – Mile 115 to Mile 131.5
Start: PCT mile 115
End: PCT mile 131
Distance: 16.5
Steps: 41406
I was unexpectedly woken up by the sounds of a lady screaming in the middle of the night. I opened my tent and didn’t see anything unusual just the sounds of screaming. It sounded like it was someone having bad nightmare or night terror. For a moment I thought Becky was sleeping beside me as it’s semi common that this happens to her. It seems like there are a lot of people out here walking the PCT to forget the traumas they have endured. It certainly provides more than enough time to dive deep into ones mind and get lost there for a while you try to arrange a few things in a manner more suited to oneself.
Today’s hike was a lot of up and down which funny enough is one of the hallmarks of the Trail. The other is that I’m fairly confident it’s just a large mosh of semi circles. That way your truely not actually getting anywhere.
For most of my journey so far I’m travelled with the same group of people. They are all faster than I am but I keep catching up. It’s an international crew with some Europeans, a few Americans, 2 British, 2 Canadians and a Scottish. It’s been nice to get to know these people but it looks like over the next few days we will drift apart. But you never do know who you will meet around the next corner.
Our lunch break today was at Trail Angels Mike House. He wasn’t home but we managed to get water. Often it’s possible to get pizza and a cold beer if you happen to time your visit right. I was just thankful for the water. I will say he has a very interesting eclectic place that you should definitely drop by if your hiking the PCT. Later I was told I did in fact miss a good party that night.
I got my first view of Mount San Jacinto today. At just over 10000 feet of elevation that is going to be an exciting and exhausting day. For now I’m camped at mile 131.5 hoping to make it to idllywild on Saturday.
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by Ben Ripley | Apr 26, 2018 | Pacific Crest Trail
PCT day 9 – Warner Springs to Mile 115
Start – Warner Springs Community Centre (PCT mile 109.5)
End – 115
Distance: 5.5 miles
Non PCT miles: 1.4
Steps: 22951
I slept incredibly well last night. I’m not sure the exhaustion that’s finally catching up to me or the fact I was sleeping on level really soft ground. But what ever it was I am truely thankful for it. I even slept in… until 6am. I wasted a few hours waiting for the resource Centre to open so I could start on my list of things to do before heading off for a “Nero”. A Nero is a day when a low mileage is walked… some say under 8 miles others say under 10 miles. The purpose of a Nero from what I can tell is just to get you out of town so that you don’t spend the next day there trapped in a vortex.
I ate a delicious breakfast at the Warner Springs golf club and got my bounce box from the post office. I quickly backup my photos and sent it forward to Idyllwild… which might prove to be problematic as they are closed on Sunday and Saturday. This might result in me taking a double zero day in town. I might have to come up with a better strategy for editing and backing up my photos.
I slowly packed up the food I’ll think I’ll need for the next 4-5 day hike to Idyllwild and places the rest in the hiker box. Deciding how much food you need on Trail is difficult math. The more you think you’ll eat the more weight you’ll carry. Don’t bring enough you will have to go without. Getting the math right requires experience that I’m slowly acquiring.
I returned to the trail and back into Warner Springs Meadow which is incredibly beautiful I passed some cows lying in the shade before resuming the ever popular ups and downs and arounds that is the PCT. if you want to know which way the PCT goes just look for the longest possible distance between two points and that will be it. The trail passed through a campground that had a really creepy vibe to it. There was a cooler on the ground next to a table… usually this means trail magic. This cooler however was old and looked like it had been sitting there for a long while. I cautiously opened it with my trekking pole to find it full of garbage.
Made camp early after a 5.5 mile hike next to a creek and have the sound of water nearby so long as it’s not being drowned out by the wind. There is a large group of us here camping today with good conversation and a horse head mask. We could really use an upgrade on the food beer selection tho. It’s going to be cool tomorrow so my intention is to sleep in a little because my sleeping bag is warm. I’m currently wrapped in my tent wearing almost every article of clothing I have with me.
The strange things that happen on the Pacific Crest Trail
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by Ben Ripley | Apr 25, 2018 | Pacific Crest Trail
Start: PCT mile 94.4
End: Warner Springs (PCT 109.5)
Distance: 15.1
Non PCT miles: 1.4
Steps: 44372
I woke up early today and was packed up and hiking at first light. As the desert gets hotter I think I’ll be waking up even earlier and hiking until it get too hot before resting in the afternoon and resuming in the evening. This is a common strategy in the desert and the longer i spend in it I can see why. On the plus side you get to watch the sun rise as you start your day. The trick is finding shade (preferably with water) for the afternoon siesta.
The first real mile stone was today. I passed the 100 mile marker and I am very proud of myself for accomplishing this. There is a large part of the that seriously doubted my ability to get this far. As I was sitting there a group of 4 thru-hikers cams by and included me in there Trail naming “ceremony” for “Hauser Leforge”. It involves learning a quick song and we all surprised him as he turned the corner. It was funny… I swear. I got my obligatory 100 miles done photo and continued on.
The trail enters Barrel Springs which is the first water source since the third gate cache. The PCT water report says there are dead mice in the trough abut the spring that feeds the trough is clear. We all filtered and chemically treated the water. Fortunately i didn’t even have to use the water i took from there as I ended up having enough to Warner springs. Next the trail takes you through a beautiful meadow before arriving at eagle rock which is a rock that looks like an eagle. From then until Arriving in Warner springs the trail follows a creek and is forest area with lots of shade. Today I saw 4 people riding their horses on the PCT (the PCT is also an equestrian trail).
I spent most my day walking trying to sort out the next section Ahed to Idillywd and signing the songs that are stuck in my head at nauseam.
The folks at the Warner springs community Centre really go out out. There’s camping, bucket showers, bucket laundry, 24 hr washroom, an a small resupply store. It really is amazing the see these small communities come together to help us hiker trash. Most people are stuck here for the night until the post office opens so we can get out ressuply boxes. I’m hoping to add a few things into my bounce box to help reduce some of the weight in carrying but realistically it won’t be much.
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