Today’s plan called for less mileage, a resupply and some town food. A pretty solid plan! I was treated to a brisk morning and beautiful colorful sunrise over Warner Springs Meadow as I walked towards town. This really is a beautiful part of the PCT.
The first quick stop was Eagle Rock. So named because of its very close resemblance to an Eagle. I arrived just as the morning sun started to shine on it and was otherwise alone. This is a popular day hike and as I walked to town I was passed by about 80 of them hiking towards Eagle Rock. They were part of a group doing a fundraiser event for Children’s Make A Wish. They all smelled so clean.
Warner Springs gas station!
There isn’t much in Warner Springs. A post office, a gas station and a community center that has almost everything a hiker needs. Back in 2018 you could camp at the community center but that is no longer aloud. The post office and gas station are about 2 miles from the community center. I started at the gas station by devouring 3 hot dogs and some cola. Judy is a Saint and even though it was 8am was more than happy to whip them up for me. I picked up my resupply from the post office and bought a few more things from the gas station and made my way to the community center.
Sorting out my resupply! Food for the next 4ish days.
The community center has almost everything a hiker needs. They have a small store, showers, bucket laundry, charging stations and washrooms. I had my first shower in a week and it was glorious. Until this year they were bucket showers but they just had shower heads installed with nice hot water. I did my laundry and hung it on the fence and passed time chatting with other hikers waiting for everything to dry and stretching.
I left in the mid afternoon and did another 5 miles, finishing the meadows and starting the next climb. Technically today was not a nearo (day with less than 10 miles hiked normally as a result of spending time in town) but I’ll probably count it as one.
The weather is suppose to be cooler the next few days with a chance of light rain tomorrow and Monday. I’m looking forward to the cooler weather (not the low single degree mornings that come with it) and rain would certainly be appreciated by Californians.
When doing laundry a thru hiker typically wears their rain gear as everything else is getting cleaned.
The sound of air being let out of the mattress marks when a thruhiker has committed to getting out of bed, packing up camp and hitting the trail. Once the air has been let out there really isn’t any going back. You could continue to lie on the cold hard ground in your tent or I suppose you could refill your air mattress… but really once the air is out, there is no other option but to get at it.
I was hiking by 0600 am as the sun rose through the mountain valley. It was incredibly beautiful. The air was cool and the light clouds in the sky had me optimistic about today’s weather. The morning was mostly downhill on hard packed less rocky dirt so I made excellent time. Almost hitting 10 miles before 10 am. 10 before 10 is a common thruhikibg saying / goal.
I’m writing this but unsure if I will share this misfortune I had. Using the washroom in the backcountry for a deuce can be a challenging affair. Until this point including all 200 miles I walked in 2018 I have never had to do so on trail. First you must find somewhere private which is surprisingly not the easiest. We all share the same 2 feet of dirt trail and most of the time that’s the only path there is. This private spot must also have dirt loose enough to dig a “cathole”. This also can be challenging in this rocky landscape. Now fortunately I found just the place! Unfortunately I did not drop the bomb on the target. Even more unfortunate was loosing my balance and stepping on the landmine… ugh. Well I suppose I signed up for this.
Water cache at Scissors Crossing
I had been debating all day if I would go into Julian which is a very popular trail town or just continue to make miles. I need to be in Warner Springs (mile 109) on Saturday before the post office closes for my resupply box or I’ll have to wait until it opens Monday. I decided as long as the water cache under the scissors crossing bridge had water then I would continue on my way. The water cache here is reliably maintained and there are regular shuttles into town. I arrived to find plenty of water and a cooler with cold Gatoraid and beer. As much as the beer was temping i decided to stick with the electrolyte improving beverage. Many thanks to the trail angels that take care of this spot.
I filled up with 6 liters and headed on my way. The next few miles were all uphill and the clouds had given way to a bright sunny day. Fortunately the wind was strong enough to keep me relatively cool. I made slow but steady progress. Almost everyone must have gone into town because I didn’t see anyone else all day.
Don’t piss these guys off!
I had my second rattle snake encounter. Fortunately this time it gave me lots of warning! It was refused to leave its sunny spot directly beside the trail so I had to climb around on the right of it. Giving it enough space but still allowing me to keep an eye on its location.
After 21 miles my body said no more and I found a nice campsite sheltered from the wind.
One year ago today on April 8th, 2018 I set about to walk the 2650 miles of the Pacific Crest Trail. 18 days, 210 miles and 561731 steps later, I would be on my way into Palm Springs having ultimately failed due to injury in completing my journey. I’ve tried several times to write this final blog about my trip but it’s been a difficult thing for me to do.
I write this as I am spending 5 weeks exploring Southeast Asia. Traveling to this part of the world was my back up plan should for some reason I decided not to finish the trail. I didn’t follow through on that at the time but I’m here now and that’s what’s important.
Temple hoping in Angkor Wat a few days ago
I discovered the PCT one day while randomly searching the internet. I remember that night staying up way later than I should have reading all about it. I was intrigued and quickley became obsessed. I spent so many hour researching every aspect of the trail. Reading blogs, watching vlogs, maps, guides or any information I could feast myself upon. I told myself that I could find myself out in the wilderness alone for 6 months. I believed all my problems would magically disappear one forgotten step at a time. That I could forget the trauma, shed the depression and rebuild myself out of dust and tears into a better man. For a brief time it worked.
For the two months leading up to my start on the trail I was so completely stressed that I was giving myself stress induced anaphylactoid reactions. I was getting episodes of hives, short of breath and dizziness pretty much every night. I didn’t figure out the cause until I started my trek and all the symptoms simply stopped. Prior to that I had made several adjustments in my regular life in attempts to find the source of these reactions. It’s only looking back upon that time now that I see what a huge ball of stress I actually was.
Just some of the amazing views I saw while on the trail
The trail was everything I thought it would be and so many things I never could have envisioned. There were days, hours or sometimes even minutes where i would run the entire gambit of human emotion. I laughed, I cried and felt the highest highs and the absolute lowest lows. Every day was a battle, every day that trail kicked my ass and everyday I both loved and hated it for it. It was the most alive I think I’ve ever felt.
11 days into the trail near Idyllwild at 7000 ft it was snowing with the strongest winds I’d experience so far. The snow was sticking sideways onto the trees in what I can only describe as what hell would look like if it indeed froze over. On this day, April 19th I fell, nearly blown off a cliff twisting my right ankle in the process. It hurt and swelled but at the time I was in denial as I wouldn’t fully appreciate what this moment meant for another few days. Fortunately I was able to get myself safely into town that night. Mother Nature laid insult to injury pelting me with hail for the last 30 mins of hobbling that day (it appears I failed to move this photos somewhere I could access on my phone)
Town is Idyllwild
After spending 3 days in Idyllwild resting I felt foolishly optimistic about my physical ability to proceed. Leaving Idyllwild the trail takes you up Mount San Jacinto to 10800 ft. As I walked the pain in my right ankle worsened… I took breaks, I took Tylenol, I took ibuprofen but the pain only continued to worsen. Slowly I began feeling pain in my knee and hip likely because of the way I was compensating for my injured ankle. Somewhere between 8000 & 9000 ft I realized my hike was done… I broke and I cried harder than I had ever cried before. It was like some torrential damn broke right there and then. In this moment I knew I had failed. I had spent the last two years preparing and I knew this could happen but in this moment realizing it was happening, that it has already happened was devastating. By the grace of whatever power exists, at that moment I had decent cell service. I called my girlfriend and I confessed that I would soon be coming home… and I cried some more.
I finished the day at the peak of Mt San Jacinto at 10800 ft. I was determined that i would at least make this summit. From here I could see Desert Palm Springs California and the airport that I would fly out of a few days later. I watch emerged in solitude as the sky turned into a multitude of reds and yellows as the sun set over the valley below. It would take me two full grueling and painful long days to reach Interstate 5 where I would be able to hopefully hitch a ride to my final destination. I listened to podcasts and enjoyed the scenery below as I descended the 10400 feet. My last two days were spent primarily alone with the exception of three US military vets who were hiking the trail together whom I occasionally leap frogged. My last night was spent alone wishing to be anywhere but here but not wanting to leave. On my last day I passed the 200 mile marker and it made me sad.
200 Mile Marker and the view looking back up at Mt San Jacinto from the desert valley.
The last few miles after descending Mt San Jacinto are in the desert valley outside Palm Springs. There was no shade and it was hot with the noon sun in full force. These were the most painful and difficult miles I have ever walked in my life. I would have stopped to rest but there was absolutely no where’s to find any refuge from the sun so I carried on. I wished for hot dogs… of all things in the world I wanted a hotdog. The mind is a strange place. My journey ended with my last steps on the PCT underneath a bridge with interstate 5 above. A well known trail angle “Mama Bear” was there greeting hikers with a big hug as they arrived. I collapsed into this complete strangers arms and cried once again. She offered ice cold drinks and of all things hot dogs to any hiker trash that passed by. Of all the meals I’ve had in my life, this meal I will remember forever.
I gave my brand new water filter and my air mattress to hikers that were having issues with theirs and got a ride into Palm Springs with my hero “Mama Bear”. She dropped me off at the airport where I rented a car, found a hotel room for few nights so I could organize my life and return home.
I came home promising myself that life would be different but I lied. I returned home and within a few weeks had dove straight into my workaholic nature. Every promise I made to myself I broke… every change I desired forgotten. It was tough returning home back to the life I’d ran away from. As the reality of it all set in I found solace in my misery, I was tired all the time, depressed and was either at work trying to hold it all together or hiding alone in my office falling apart. I fell into a very dark lonely painful place and I’ll always be grateful to my friends who helped me realize just how far I’d gone. There has been a lot of tough changes in my personal and professional life over the past year. Not all of them have I fully embraced. But I’m putting in the effort and trying to learn what I need to do to be happy for me. Trying to learn how to be be more honest with myself.
In the end I successfully attempted to do this absolute crazy thing. Something I’m still shocked that I actually followed through on. The trail was never going to fix me… I know that truth honestly now. I was and still am a broken person who is just trying to find his way. I’ve just got a better map these days.
Thank you to everyone who have supported me over the past year. Both during this crazy adventure of mine and the turmoil that proceeded it. Your friendship, guidance, support and love mean the world to me.
PCT re-attempt in 2020? We’ll see? For now I’m planning as many vacations as money and work will allow 🙂
I had originally planned to take a zero day in Mount Laguna. A zero day is a day in which you hike no miles and typically rest or take care of town chores. This was to help give my body a chance to adjust to the torment I am now putting it through. But last night when I went to bed I had changed my mind and decided i was going to hike on – the weather forecast looked great for hiking, I didn’t feel anywhere near as sore Id thought I’d be and my new water filter arrives in Julian tomorrow. Then I woke up and my body wasn’t so happy with the idea. I was nauseated, dizzy, feeling weak and slightly tachycardic (definitely multiple code 4 triggers). So began the battle of the mind vs the battle of the body. My mind wanted to desperately hike on afraid that showing weakness so early in the thru-hike but my body was screaming “stop, rest I promise you’ll thank me later”. In the end my body won and my mind made the tough decision to stay and it was really for the best. I don’t have a good track record of listening to what my body tells me so I’m proud that I did.
John left at 7 and I went back to bed. At 9 I was able to book the room for an additional night and spent the majority of it sleeping, reading and making a few phone calls. I am feeling a lot better now and looking forward to hitting the trail tomorrow with the cooler weather and mostly downhill day ahead of me.
If you ever decide to do a thru-hike yourself my solid advise would be to take it slow to start and listen to your body. Unless your in amazing physical shape… something that I am not. If your hiking the PCT i definitely recommend the Mount Laguna Lodge. Big rooms, comfortable beds, real hot showers and they even provide thru-hikers with a bucket and laundry detergent free of charge… mostly to encourage you not to do your laundry in the bathtub.
I slept well last night even though in the dark I set my tent up on a strange angle. It was nice to fall sleep listening to the sounds of frogs in the distance.
I woke up at 6am and hit the trail by 7. Today’s goal is make it to Mount Laguna which is only 10 miles away but a significant gain in elevation. I walked alone most of the day at a pretty good pace but I’m really hoping I start adjusting to this heat sooner rather than later.
After the climb was out of the way the trail went through a forest and the air had this incredible smell of wood. The shade was also a welcomed relief from the relentless beating the sun had been giving me. I got into Mount Laguna at 12:30 and joined a few hikers at the Pine House Cafe and Tavern. I felt unwell and disorientated likely dehydrated or maybe my filter didn’t do it’s job. I consumed a large quantity of water and devoured a BBQ chicken sandwich before heading up to the Mount Laguna Lodge.
I had mailed myself a package here from San Diego only because I bought too much food at the time. I got my package and inquired if they had any rooms available for the night… they did and I jumped on the opportunity. I’m hoping that a good night sleep in a comfortable bed helps my stomach feel better. 70$ for the night and a bucket to do laundry in… sounded like a great deal to me. Even better I later ran into John and he is splitting the room with me.
Now showered, laundry done, new water filter ordered (to be delivered to Julian) and blog updated I’m ready for a good night sleep.
Temple hoping in Angkor Wat a few days ago
Town is Idyllwild
200 Mile Marker and the view looking back up at Mt San Jacinto from the desert valley.
